Men of the Month (but compiled this time!)

some fave males - and all for different reasons.

Damon Albarn
*a Brit
*BLUR! (and several other bands, and independant projects)
*musical gifted person
*independant thinker and risk taker
*involved in many, many collaborative and creative projects
*likes to fuse different genres, styles, play with concepts, imagery (ie. animated band "Gorillaz")
*not a pretty boy- but intriguing nonetheless...mostly for his laid back swagger, deep baritone mixed with boyish looks
*VERY respected in the biz (worked with heavy weights like Bowie etc.)
*bit of a brainiac, articulate, learned person..easy to listen to
*likes a spot of tea!


The Glambert
*bit of a sexy, bad boy
*talented singer & SHOWMAN
*candid and opinionated sometimes to a 'fault' (depending on whose article you read)
*has more than a bit of a "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" 'titude...(see below)
*...which is coupled with warmth- he is never harsh, or sharp
*armed with ample wit and humour & knows how to use it
*more of an Artist than a prefab prop of music producers- owning his own style
*openly gay & FABULOUS!
*charisma to BUUURN...baby!
*go, Glambert, go!


Robbie Williams
*made crooning swagger COOL again (but was it ever NOT?!)
*Brit
*gives good interview
*twinkle in the eye ;)
*can nab the hearts of bobbysockers, grannies and gays alike!
*can go from pop, to rock to ballads, effortlessly- very VERSATILE artist
*bit of a naughty boy but not bad, cold nor mean. (*yay* and yay)
*charming showman - crowd pleaser, momentum creator
*funny and easily self-deprecating
*vulnerable side (listen to some lyrics)....Robbie gets lonely too, you know!
*just got engaged! nice to see he can feel deeply and also find happiness :)
*could prob break your heart, or make it beat rapturously depending on mood, day, location of the moon..that unpredictable quality which can be kind of enticing


Iggy Pop
*so NOT pretty
*could write a song about being BORED and have it become a f* anthem for the punk,the angst, the closeted bored et al!
*being perpetually be cool and weird and be loved for it- his being irreverantly "different"
*once rumored love of young Bowie..(was "Velvet Goldmine" really based on their affair in the 60/70s..?) HOT.
*you don't bloody care if he is off-key as he has that Lou Reed quality -ie. sings like shit, but the song is good anyway- or perhaps the BETTER for it!
*can listed to when BORED, angry, frustrated, horny, driving, tired, walking, cocky, tipsy, silly, net surfing, etc. In short, when you FOCKING FEEL LIKE IT.
*brings out my teenage angst, post-punk 16-yr old, and Little Irish :)

more Men to Celebrate later..!
(the Women to Celebrate in later edition..)

scathing new blog...or "Girls Who Don't Pee"

Sometimes I ruminate on the idea of starting a whole new blogosphere and calling it, (and this is critical and non-negotiable).."Girls Who Don't Pee".

Today I had the bemusement and mild annoyance, of meeting stall-to-stall with another such creature from my office floor (other offices, one bathroom sort of thing). This one was much like the others...(here I let out a sigh for dramatic effect..and, well, because I is tired!). As soon as she became aware of my presence entering bathroom, she became silent. Deadly silent. As in, "I am not even here" silent. As in, if-I-am-quiet-enough-maybe-my-bladder-will-open-up-and-I-can-refill-it-by-defying-gravity-so-I-don't-have-to-pee-anymore silent.

It was, to say the least, disturbing. I wanted to tap on the wall playfully and ease that tension, "C'mon, girl, Let it out! You're among friends here! Nothing I aint heard before!" (yes, I've heard more than I care to recall. but SEEN worse. let's not go there...)

Meantime, I unfolded the paper seat cover and prepped for my business. When I step into a public bathroom, time is fleeting, with my meager little break dwindling away with every second, I take my business seriously. While I took care of my needs without too much violence or assault on the senses of others, miss Lady wadded up balls of toilet paper to 'muffle' sounds. It was painstaking to listen to (try as I might to NOT. .), and even more painstaking to feel her embarrassment at the self-enforced hiding of this 'thing' that didnt' happen. She did definitely NOT pee. It did not happen. (You didn't see anything, now move along!) Finally, in an act of bladder salvation, she let the loud flush to grant her precious few seconds in which to her business be set free. LAWD! Thank goddess for the flush, else this poor girl would have gotten herself purple bladder had I decided to 'linger' and sit in my stall. I think she would have preferred that than to be heard really letting it rip! (and we're still talking about Number 1 here!)

Now I know what you're thinking: I'm not taking into account a complicated, multi-faceted issues respective of cultural background, ideas, beliefs, misconceptions, etc., socialization, gender expectation, and the like. Yes, I am! But I'm irked nonetheless that somewhere in the minds of some of these young women it has become socially unacceptable, even embarrassing to let a perfectly natural function of every human being occur. Even in a place expressly there FOR that very purpose!

Why is there so much shame and embarrassment? Aren't women supposed to be partake in more 'base' or primal needs? Why not? Are we made to be beautiful, pristine creatures who naturally awake curly-lashed, gorgeous, glossy haired, patchouli-scented, green apple shampooed and doe-eyed maidens who are ethereal, other-wordly, thereby, not quite of this earth? makes one ponder: perhaps a beautiful woman in some cultures IS to be an otherwordly creature who is perfect. If supposedly 'base' needs (eating, sleeping, defecating, copulating, etc.) represent something Less than that, then one must strive to be better than the real, the UN-Cola! And of course, culturally set templates are only reyfied and perpetuated while being imposed into our frontal lobes via popular media and other institutions (church, schools).

Cue the commercial with the ever- jovial mom who has to clean up after her kid, dog AND husband all with a smile on her face, a svelte figure and cute shiny hair. The Perfect Woman who has it All! (and in fine print, who DOES it all too- and simultaneously and without recognition as work! ha "oh, please! That's all part of being a woman!" she's perfect, and efficient, shiny haired, and excitedly jumping up and down in white pants if menstruating). Yippee! that perfect woman on Teli prob does NOT go to the bathroom either;)

Keeping our selves all tucked up and lifted up and plucked around and shaven and shiny and sucked in is such a toil and on-going demand on the 'cleaning up' of a real human woman. It is startling how much of this Real Human Woman needs to be either repaired of cleaned up. Look at any commercial on teli: douche with this, wear this deodorant, make your hair shinier with this, put on these, wear this up there during that you-know-time-of-the-month unspokenness, lose weight using this, and so on... The repair and maintenance of the Real Human Woman, who by virtue of undoing her 'naturalness' becomes UNreal, thereby a Better, Cleaner, more pristine human being.

How is does one navigate from looking "attainable", yet remaining perfect, pristine (whereby expressing bodily functions are relegated to "Lesser than" ladylike or classy), also as culturally understood with respect to class differentiation [ie. low class vs. high class], class structures, and of course, gender differences and expectations (ie. men can shout and make noise, women are to be gentle, subdued and above all, QUIET.) That is perhaps a longer, juicier blog for future..another one to chew on later.

But now the night awaits, and me, I'm a mortal fleshy human person who needs to recuperate her body, rest her mind and let other cellular parts of me regenerate as they will. But come first thing in the morning...well let's just say you wouldn't want to play 'tent' with me.

tee hee.

on The Fly

miscellaneous observations from the mind of the wandering SylphFly:

*loud burping woman on bus coughing afterward in a meek (and belated) attempt to disguise said burp. ha oh it's ok, honey. shit happens.

*three stocky middle-aged men, all wearing the same salmon/or blue standard man's shirt over their black pants, walking in a horizontal line and reeking of the same (or likely simile) heavy cologne that does such a poor job of masking putrid sweaty oil on older men's bodies. it becomes sort of a sickly sweetly, tangy, scent of ass and putrifying orchids. none of which are things I particularly like. :)

I guess it feeds that concept of the people around you influencing you and you in turn reifying your identity by influencing them.

feck. I wish one of them was a trailblazer and decided on the radical concept of 'taking a shower more often!'. now: everybody else FOLLOW HIS EXAMPLE!

*speaking of smells...why do dentists offices generally smell like a disturbing mix of tin (like dental braces), mint, amnonia and a bag of fresh blood. ick. years of therapy and I now realize THIS as the catalyst of my nightmares...well, this and CLOWNS!

"Say hello...to my little friend"

this fly. has been illegally, and unconcentually (sp?) living with me for the past few days. IN FACT....ever since my mother LEFT for....VACATION.
aha! I'm putting it all together- it's some sort of stand-in for pestering and security watch over me, namely mom's little tasks, when she is here in the flesh...
but I digress.


I have been watching this thing, air-swimming around, doing back-flips, and parachuting dives and swoops upon over the upholstery...for days now. BUZZ. BUZZZZZZZ. (where'd it go...its quiet now...maybe it's finally left..?..?.BUZZZZZ!!!!!!! NOPE!)

and I have to wonder: are flies really this friggin' stoopid?! I have opened the balcony doors wide open, turned off any 'attractive' (to the flies!) lights, stood motionless, so as to not 'spook' it if it made its way around the window..and NUTHIN. It seems desperate to get out, and furiously buzzes around, comes oh-so-close to the opening doors to Freedom....! but no. back inside it goes.

Apart from this little irritation, I try to drink from the glass half-full perspective and ask of myself: "now, what might this little fly be teaching me?"

Are there doors being cracked open to me, but do I not see them, instead circling around the proverbial 'manure' or light (aka. the things I 'see', the immediately visible)? Am I supposed to be looking elsewhere, rather than onto the things in my immediate presence? hm. Career decisions looming...(when aren't they??), so I am getting philosophical again, and trying to get out of 'gerbil wheel' mentality of being stuck in the present situation, while also not delving into unknown, the unforeseen, etc. "tuning in"...

so, what to take from this silly little fly's quest. Does it strive to be great, or have a happy, fulfilled life? one might assume, well perhaps! does it bear no purpose except to be noisy, and irritating to humans, by circling mindlessly, senselessly, endlessly in seemingly-random directions? (moving in seemingly-random directions..?)

feck. is this fly me?

why do I suddenly want to perch onto the nearest stick of butter, and also grab my oversized "Bono" shades (circa "Zoo Sation" tour ;).

much like this post, the fly's dance may have no meaning or purpose! perhaps the same can be said of life at some moments, sometimes it looks as if you are on a trajectory, flowing forth, and then...a stick of shit appears in your precense (read into that what you will, dear reader) and you lose focus, and instead start to cicumnavigate around it like it was a brick o' gold.

Jaybus, is this fly me?

why don't I seek out the 'open doors'? perhaps they are obscured from my vision as I am focussing on other things of immediate proximal distance (ie. present-day job, present-day friends, present-day living situation, etc.) Perhaps, this fly is showing me how circling around the same shit, aint moving toward any kind of newfound freedom, but rather festering in senseless circles which get it nowhere different (or better) and annoy the shit out of people who are witnessing these meanderings.

well, f* me sideways! this fly is me.

Fish Tank fun...

"it's the gift that keeps on giving!" haha

I could not help note the paradoxical absurdity (and unintended hilarity...) of this entry. A fellow POF'er notes in his profile, how he does not want these things:

A few specific things:
- no smokers
- not into crazy party animals
- if you wear lots of make up and fashion accessories I'm probably not your type
- if you spend your weekends shopping..
- if you don't care about the environment..
- if you're only looking for riches..
- if you're addicted to soap operas and game shows..
- if you drive a hummer..
- if you sleep around..
- if you can't live without constant attention..
- also, I'm not a big dog-lover


but if you read the above section of Interests, he notes; he is open to "different perspectives".

HA! apparently not! someone who he considers a person who 'sleeps around' may well have a different perspective (and justifiable reasons for doing what she does, I would argue/devil's advocate..), as would someone who does not 'care for the environment', or 'is looking for riches', and so on. These are all "different perspectives" but I get the feeling our friend here is "open" to others perps. providing they are ONLY THE KIND THAT ARE IN LINE WITH HIS - in other words, his own perspective. (Aint we all guilty of that! but at least I don't bullshit myself or others by stating that "I'm open to opinions that are unlike my own". oh puleeze bitch! I know my opinions are the 'right ones'. Always. cough*cough*sputter])

I think Elton John said it best when he sang, "It's a little bit funny...".
just sayin'.

Fish Tank feedback...

from dating profile. Wow! it's nice to know you are appreciated (good for the ole ego too)!


Keep shining your light, Sister!

It's comforting to know there are free thinkers like you keeping tabs on things around here!!

You have a great profile and it was a fun read!!!!...thanks for givin me a smile!!!!!

I started to post your pictures around my bedroom on the ceiling ... so when I lie down in bed you're the last thing I see before I sleep.....

shall I just keep calling you my frosted little pop tart...I am starting to think you enjoy that...and I find myself liking it. ;)

I just wanted to say that you have one of the better profiles out there...the truth about investing in Self is the best advice anyone can take.

You sound like a great person. Just look at this as..."A character building experience."

I'm pleased you wrote about investing some time.

I found your profile intriguing and I love mysteries.

You are very clever, reading your profile made me laugh. I hope you are a writer so everyone can benefit from your wit.

Maybe I can sink my fangs into you before you run off with one of these other less deserving blokes.

Looking at your costume picture makes me immediately think of the band Melt-Banana (Japanese Punk).

I don't mean to sound cheesy but you seem like a person worth being nice to.

If you are looking for a dance partner, look no further.

Just wanted to say thanks for the honesty about the "possible" in your life. And just wanted to say, you "stay gold ponyboy", stay gold, one of the absolute best books ever written...take care

Can I be brutally honest? I get the sense that you're a whole lot o' fun.

All the girl here chew tabacco, and spit, there all rednecks!!!lol wish I could find a dress up one, that makes me weak, and so ho*ny!!lol

You seem to write with great character and it is most likely an indication of yourself..Compliment intended.

A+ for make me smile!!!

Your profile is a great read. Nice Ratzo reference...

(sent me a 'teddy bear' as gift) Instead of the old glass slipper approach, try this BEAR, if it fits, then youre my Princess!

You sound intelligent and like cool music, That definitely appeals to me.

You are an interesting woman with an interesting profile!

I certainly WISH I could have some of your burnt toast

you look fantastic in your photo playing dress up...i really really like that look

just love your sense of humour

loved your bio very well written

I'd like to hear your blog, rants and perspective.

How sweet you truly are. What a wonderful little package you are (but not circus midget little, so that's fine ;p). A local girl with beautiful lips and big,lovely, brown doe eyes!

Lets fly to paris for some " moulle et frites" on our first date.

Unlike most I've read, I love the fact that you've put some sincere thought and effort into your profile. The opening paragraph is killer!

your interests are just so great that i wanted send you a message:)

If you're into outdoor fun I can swing some wildplay.com passes

Someone could define your rant as pesimistic and and cynical. However I see it as intelligent with a hint of sarcasm. I would love to read your blog. That would be a hoot.

I read your whole profile...you should be a writer!

I thought I'd say hello again since you look and sound like such a nice woman.

There aren't many people like you though

that outfit is unreal. hot, seriously

Let me know if you want to meet. We could climb a tree by the water and sit and feel the breeze. :)

thanks for givin me a smile!!!!!

the nicest compliment this week...!

"I hope you are a writer so everyone can benefit from your wit."

thanks. that put a smile on my heart.



(Source: Plenty of Fish profile reader and note writer.)

"If lovin' you is wrong, I don't wanna be right"

ok, my beef today is with the blessed concept (grossly misutilized term, to be more accurate) of being "Real". Capital R for a Reason, here.

I'm watching yet another Reality show (problematic in its own right, I realize! but onwards...), with the morbid curiousity in me awakened anew. At least two people per half hour in any random Reality shoo define themselves as being Real. One yells it out antagonistically at another person, "Hey, I'm just being real! If you can't handle it, it aint my problem!" Another one spouts something about "I'm just keeping it real"..while backing away from committing to any true opinion for herself, instead preaching a cliche to stand in as a Postcard version of the truth unspoken.

What probes my irritated bowel is that using this term is like a free pass to be a royal bitch, or a mean person, or be brutally blunt and go around slinging shit in the airwaves, not worried about where it will land, as long as it's instrumental in hurting people's feelings somehow. It's hypocritical as hell too, a bit like saying, "I'm not one to pass judgement..BUT..." before lunging into a REALLY judgemental diatribe. Uh-huh.. riiiiight. So being Real is about being rude, insensitive, not relegating yourself to using communication skills (you know, Big Girl words) or investing in a little self-knowledge ("Gee. Am I being an unreasonable, insecure person?"), choosing instead to yell or intimidate others, parading around like a giant angry cock swinging at anything standing in its way. "Look out- you're gonna get swiped!"

In that case, let me remain here UN-real in my NeverNeverland of niceness and spare others my Realness. Real, you say? more like really crass, really selfish, really offensive, really petty, and really desperate for any semblance of power*. (*Interestingly, power-trippy types tend to throw this coy little term around like salt on hot, buttery corn).

I propose that what this Really reflects is a national pathology of misguided hostility (ie. road-rage, anyone?) and pedestrian, equestrian (?!), misconceptions about Strength and Power, which can manifest as mismanaged anger (ie. the kind little kids use when they spit at other little kids in the playground), and not healthy aggression (ie. the kind adults use to win the race, or to sue each other's asses, diplomatically). To use aggression correctly is to be able to identify the problem, its true source, how it affects you, and where to direct it to achieve resolution. This is very different than getting all tangled up in the helplessness and frustration of (unidentified) anger. To harness aggression is to make the best of this energy, to propel action and resolution through Righteous Rage, applying this force beyond the means of "survival" (ie. caveman days), and leveraging it towards creativity, passion, drive and other juicy, generally productive things! Being "Real" just don't cut it when it gives license to spout shit outward while remaining ignorant of one's insecurities, and pathologies, etc.

Welcome to the Un-Cola kids - thanks to the boob tube - the facade, the Un-real is being marketed, paraded, and sold to us like it was fresh lemonade on a hot day in July. "This is the new Cool!"

Don't buy it, and don't drink it. This kind of Real don't mean much relative to the origins of the word "real", you know the one with NO capital "R".

werd.