Steven Wright jokes ('deadpan' delivery essential here)

"Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo... He got pretty good... He could go under a rug..."

Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.

I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can't tell...except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window...

Right now I'm having vu ja de--deja vu and amnesia at the same time.

Sometimes I...No, I don't.

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.

Randomness

The Man with Two Heads-1973, Ray Milland (post Oscar-nominee era!)

Worth looking at, if nothing else for the train-wreck quality it has in spades. DO I even need to explain the plot here?? The title says it all! and who cares, anyway? it is flawless in its lack of coherent plot, very, very mediocre "special effects" and wonderful over-the-top acting...sigh. It's a beautiful thing. The chase scenes will make you laugh out friggin' loud. (Probably better-viewed while stoned but I wouldn't know).
For you anal types, here is a quip of the uh...
Plot Synopsis: A rich but racist man is dying and hatches an elaborate scheme for transplanting his head onto another man's body. His health deteriorates rapidly, and doctors are forced to transplant his head onto the only available candidate: a black man from death row.

On a 'whole n'other level' is a movie that is rather under-rated and deserves some decent Cult status (which I have read it has):

Velvet Goldmine-1998, Ewan McGregor, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Christian Bale, Toni Colette

Reasons to watch: great soundtrack, GLAM frigggin' ROCK style and madness, heavy David Bowie-esque biographic nudging, Oscar Wilde references artfully disbursed throughout, Ewan McG. acts like a softer Iggy Pop, gets buck nekkid, and kisses another beautiful boy J. Rhys Meyers (here very purdy, androgynous and sexy),cool directing, editing, nice visuals, Eddie Izzard great as a sleazy manager!

Only "drawback": you'll watch it twice to 'get' the mystery, within a love story, within a rock-opera-esque drama...and you kinda don't mind. Hee!