"Say hello...to my little friend"

this fly. has been illegally, and unconcentually (sp?) living with me for the past few days. IN FACT....ever since my mother LEFT for....VACATION.
aha! I'm putting it all together- it's some sort of stand-in for pestering and security watch over me, namely mom's little tasks, when she is here in the flesh...
but I digress.


I have been watching this thing, air-swimming around, doing back-flips, and parachuting dives and swoops upon over the upholstery...for days now. BUZZ. BUZZZZZZZ. (where'd it go...its quiet now...maybe it's finally left..?..?.BUZZZZZ!!!!!!! NOPE!)

and I have to wonder: are flies really this friggin' stoopid?! I have opened the balcony doors wide open, turned off any 'attractive' (to the flies!) lights, stood motionless, so as to not 'spook' it if it made its way around the window..and NUTHIN. It seems desperate to get out, and furiously buzzes around, comes oh-so-close to the opening doors to Freedom....! but no. back inside it goes.

Apart from this little irritation, I try to drink from the glass half-full perspective and ask of myself: "now, what might this little fly be teaching me?"

Are there doors being cracked open to me, but do I not see them, instead circling around the proverbial 'manure' or light (aka. the things I 'see', the immediately visible)? Am I supposed to be looking elsewhere, rather than onto the things in my immediate presence? hm. Career decisions looming...(when aren't they??), so I am getting philosophical again, and trying to get out of 'gerbil wheel' mentality of being stuck in the present situation, while also not delving into unknown, the unforeseen, etc. "tuning in"...

so, what to take from this silly little fly's quest. Does it strive to be great, or have a happy, fulfilled life? one might assume, well perhaps! does it bear no purpose except to be noisy, and irritating to humans, by circling mindlessly, senselessly, endlessly in seemingly-random directions? (moving in seemingly-random directions..?)

feck. is this fly me?

why do I suddenly want to perch onto the nearest stick of butter, and also grab my oversized "Bono" shades (circa "Zoo Sation" tour ;).

much like this post, the fly's dance may have no meaning or purpose! perhaps the same can be said of life at some moments, sometimes it looks as if you are on a trajectory, flowing forth, and then...a stick of shit appears in your precense (read into that what you will, dear reader) and you lose focus, and instead start to cicumnavigate around it like it was a brick o' gold.

Jaybus, is this fly me?

why don't I seek out the 'open doors'? perhaps they are obscured from my vision as I am focussing on other things of immediate proximal distance (ie. present-day job, present-day friends, present-day living situation, etc.) Perhaps, this fly is showing me how circling around the same shit, aint moving toward any kind of newfound freedom, but rather festering in senseless circles which get it nowhere different (or better) and annoy the shit out of people who are witnessing these meanderings.

well, f* me sideways! this fly is me.