Nothing is going on right now!

I’m excited at this time, because nothing is going on right now! That's right: Nothing.

Which means only one thing! In the absence of current Stuff…new Stuff is bound to happen (only one way to go there)! In colloquial terms: this shit is gonna happen, yo.

It feels like I’m peering over the precipice of a valley of promising things. Yes, I’m sober, I slept a decent night, I am not under medications (discounting the usual friendly toxins like coffee, etc.), no, I’m not in love, nor I have won any lottery. In fact, I’m a bit sore from a slightly over zealous work-out, but otherwise in my right frame of mind. I have not one cool thing going on - at all! And I’m happy.

Bizarre, I know!! What a wonderful strangeness.:)

I feel like the young year offers promises: to be outrageous, to take chances, to be uncomfortable (a little) again, to find out what other stuff can make me happy, and retain & enjoy what DOES make me happy.

Having a clean slate is great because you can let your imagination wander and envision ‘possibilities’. It may be a little “Billy Liar” of me in easily losing myself in daydreaming, but the trick is to not get sucked into the escapism of these wonderful worlds of make-believe, but to connect the dream with the dream of reality and manifest something that comes awfully close to that ‘thing’. I love having a clean slate.

“Keep it in the show!” as I’m fond of saying. Those who don’t know me well, will wonder if they’ve met with a crazy woman when I throw this out there (they may be *partly* right..). The joke is that, no matter what kind of fuck up occurs along the way, no matter what Unexpected Things rear their ugly heads, and no matter how inappropriate or deviated from the original intent or ‘plan’, find a way to work it in to the existing content. Like in improv when a new scenario occurs; it didn’t go where you were thinking it was going to, where you were prepared for it to go to. “Um, I didn’t know THAT was going to happen. What a giant fuck up. Totally didn’t expect that. Oops! Fuck it: Keep It in the Show!” I feel like a triumphant circus master, amusing a surprised audience, when the lion jumps off the pedestal and begins instead to do cartwheels. Grin like you’re winning, “Oh, yeah. That was MEANT to be in there all, along. Yeah…that’s right.” Keep it in the show! "We'll be here all week!" ;)

Maybe it’s the honeymoon phase between your beloved author and the appealing youth of 2012, or the endorphins coursing through my tattered little body from my booty-licious work-outs lately, or feel-goody chemicals from the mass quantities of chocolates consumed over the holidays. Who knows! I dunno why I feel this way. It doesn't "make sense" on paper...and yet...it feels correct.

It is strange to feel happy for 'no apparent reason', but I am content. I know that feelings are fleeting, so I am embracing this moment, this fuzzy little feeling of trust in the world and the world within myself…and hope that it is opening a door from which more such moments will come fluttering out through the course of the year. 

The writer in me thinks: "Maybe I’m losing my 'edge'?". It was miniscule to begin with, but served me well where it needed to. (pause here for effect.) Naaah, Little Irish will be back in another scathing, pseudo-comedic rant but all in good time, all in good time. 

For now, I feel good, I feel clear, I feel strong, and brave. I’m ready to play and am thus calling to the tides which ebb and flow, "Merry Meet and Merry Part, and Merry Meet again!"