Thursday, May 25, 2006

Ok, I AM happy about this!


Taylor Hicks is named ‘American Idol’
The Birmingham, Ala., 29-year-old, who wooed viewers with his raw singing style, wild dance moves and an unlikely mop of gray hair, said he wanted to travel back home to his legions of “Soul Patrol” fans, whom he thanked onstage the moment he won.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The Kite-flyer Not the Phlegm Collector...

Ponderings from the "Ponderosa"

Went to see a certain movie last night (hint: one of the most anticipated and most controversial so far this year...associated with a certain famous work of art. 'k, nuff said). Sitting there in the throes of the thrilling first moments of previews...my second favourite part of "going to the movies"! Suddenly a young(ish) couple sits behind us. I glance at them quickly in an effort to assess their "loud-talkedness" potential..They had come in talking, "I hope they don't keep yacking during the movie", I think to myself.
(I'll take a dramatic pause here.)

You know how people tell you "don't think about it, it'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy"? Damn them, those f&*^% are right! The couple came in talking loud, they sat behind us talking borderline (but enough for us to understand every word) loud...despite my attempts to thwart their behaviour with a couple of stern "sshh"s during the course of the (long) movie. Nuthin. I was getting irritated, and even more so when halfway through they came back with popcorn and started to munch it loudly and openly for the enjoyment of the patrons around them. "Such assholes". I told myself, "don't give them any attention. That is what they want". It took every fibre of my Will and focus of mindset to repeatedly "ignore" them, until I realized I was working so damned hard to have a good time, enjoy the movie - in spite of some rude, stupid inconsiderate people who were trying to spoil it.

Why is this phenomena so prevalent? It's like they 'spot you', "This one will do". "Betcha we can really inflict damage here!" Sometimes I feel it is so unfair (whine) that since there is a lot of negative energy and antagonism in the world, those of us who ARE sensitive and feel this intent (vicious, sometimes malevolent) have to work overtime to survive and not be so wounded in the process. (I've ALWAYS have a sense of someone who has a bad "vibe", since I was little. Perhaps they too have 'sensed' me.) You don't want to give away your power to them, so you don't overreact...in the meantime the bullies get away with being bullies and continue to exercise the "power-over" dynamic and drain the energy from the nicer people. This is friggin' not right, people!

I know that ultimately it is up to 'you' to change your attitude or mindset, etc. since you're never going to change anyone else, around you. I 'know' that. Yet in my heart, I feel conflicted and wonder when is it correct to yell back, to shove back, to not back down from the fight? I have confronted the "uglies" (bullies, meanspirited people, etc.) before, with "mixed" results. I am usually the kind to reluctantly turn the other cheek (at the expense of getting my cheeks 'tanned' with abuse! in the past), yet there remains a constant state of unrest inside for me from this dilemna. I don't want to become like them and get sucked into the power game, yet I don't want to be easy fodder for pummeling either. I would above all, like to feel "safe".

As soon as I start to feel safe again, there comes another 'test', another healthy shot of antagonism and negativity just to 'keep me on my toes'. Sometimes I just want to hang my head down and cry from a sense of inevitability. It hurts to feel malevolence from others, it feels raw and I labour with converting my anger and frustration into Righteous Rage (the Correct direction of this force/energy). I feel as though there is no letting the guard down, that is when they swoop in and try to rob you, or drain your energies. Sigh. People can be so mean. I will never fully comprehend that...

Next day, the "movie thing" is behind me. I thought about the actual "movie" and the amount of times I am reminded of the mean-spirited couple has shortened, for the most part. I study for 3 hours, then go to the park. It is sunny but not hot yet, it is windy but not too cool. I like this wind. The sensation makes me feel like a little girl again, one who used to glee at the wind messing up the curls around her face! There is a man there with a little kite he is setting up for his young daughter. He shows her how to fly it. He is clearly enjoying himself. Maybe he's a kid too now, one who's forgotten he's supposed to be 'giving lessons' here, not just flying the kite for himself! ha ha. I lose myself for a moment ans pretend I am flying that kite too. I watch it drift and swoop and dance, teasing the winds. Suddenly, it swoops downward. Plop. A full stop. The man and his daughter smile and gather the kite for flying again.

I lay supine on the warm grass. Feel the beat of the warm earth. Ah, yes Mother, I had forgotten how rich your arms were. I had forgotten how I could always come and be embraced by you and the sun. I do need it today. I start to drift now. The warmth and the soft winds are combining in a lullaby for me...I drift, drift...suddenly a pedestrian shuffles along the sidewalk, making a great "harking" noise and a throated sound of collecting phlegm. He spits the great gob. I feel disgust. "Pig!", I think. I imagine: what if every Tom, Dick and Harry Potter were to walk around like that and dump their 'refuse' on every sidewalk. And if no city maintenance came in to do water sweeps to flush it away??" I think I would vomit. Hideous picture.

I quickly decide to shift the focus. "Think of something nice, think of something nice, quickly!" Ah, ok, got it. I picture the kite flyer and his kite again. Yes, that is the vision that I chose to fill my attention. There be too many other distractors and competition for my mind and my senses, too many that could destroy my good spirits and too many that might deflate my belief in things beautiful and the inherent goodness in (most) people. Sometimes it is a real challenge to remember all this - knowing what we know of our volatile, small world...

Determinedly, I have re-set my mindset, and it won't be the last time. I think "I would rather witness the kite, and the kite-flyer and his daughter, share in their reverie, wonder and celebration doing this simple, sweet ritual. I would rather let some bitter little disgust and mean "ugly" pass right by me, and freely move away and outward. This "ugly" never belonged to me and I therefore do not want this negativity to hurt me. I will always see it, and I will always have to acknowledge that it exists. But for today (and the next), I must employ steely persistence to see/hear/feel the "kite-flyers" and not the "phlegm collectors".

That is the gentle reminder I received today. For this I am thankful.

Friday, May 12, 2006

from the Dept. of "Think-Before-You-Speak"

You think YOU'VE tripped over your words?!
This ought to make you feel, oh, so much better. (*good for chuckle*)


"[I want to] make sure everybody who has a job wants a job." -- George Bush, during his first campaign for the presidency.

"Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?" -- George W. Bush

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." -- George W. Bush

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." -- George W. Bush

"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor as you like to be liked yourself." -- George W. Bush

"Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness." -- George W. Bush

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question." -- George W. Bush

"This campaign not only hears the voices of the entrepreneurs and the farmers and the entrepreneurs, we hear the voices of those struggling to get ahead." -- George W. Bush

"We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile." -- George W. Bush

"Actually, I -- this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about--when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me." -- George W. Bush

(After shaking m'head so much, I feel like I should go brush it now!!)

Friday, May 05, 2006

OWW-EE!! my ears IZ burnin'..!

"Dear Music God:
I'm twelve years old and I like music, especially hip-hop and pop. I look up to musicians coz they look good and the music makes me wanna dance...but you know what, I don't git it?? Lately I've been hearing really, really stoopid stuff that get really, really popular and goes to the top of the illegal downloading lists and stuff, but the lyrics to these songs...um, they, they make my ears like bleed a little?

Um, like that "Beep" song from the Pussycat Dolls (these chicks who used to gyrate their bootieses at burlesque girlie music shows and now are like, doing videos. The thing that is WACK is the words to the songs are, like, purdy stoopid,! Dude, check this: "you got nice brains but I'm lookin' at yo "beep*, No, I don't mind that you lookin' at my *beep*, I know you're looking at my *beep*. I don't mind that you're looking at my *beep*"...and so on. Like, I GET it, *beep* is a swear word or it's sex. Ok!! It was cute the first twenty times they said it...

Another one, wuz that SUUUPPER popular "My Humps" song by The Black Eyes Peas. I mostly like their stuff, even tho they rip off other old fogie artists' riffs to make their song sound way cooler, but whatev! Anyway, that song about ladies' "bumps" was pro'bly reeeal easy to write. Like I could have written better...WHILE TAKING A MATH TEST..CHEWING GUM, AND WITH MY HANDS TIED BEHIND MY BACK, I bet. It's really nuthin' to get super hot over or even..to really listen to, you know?? I think I know all the lyrics already. Ok, um: "My humps, my humps, my lovely lady humps."
and then "my lumps, my lumps, my lovely lady lumps".
..ya get the picture, right. This dirty lady named Peaches did her own funny take on this called "My Dumps" (but my mom won't let me cruise her website. Whatev!)

Anyway, I may not know much stuff being twelve and all, but I know music is suppposed to like, HAVE MUSIC IN IT and the words are suppposed to be compliminting..or complatementing...cumplement--well, GO TOGETHER with the music in a musical way ! Thing is: lyrics and stuff I hear is CR-AY_ZZ-EE!!

Anyway Music God, if you have TIME make it stop, ok?? Or maybe make people that are out there rakin in the 'greens' and flashing their "grills" and their *bling* and twenty badd cars, with their group of "hoes", in their pimped-out wheels , whatever--make 'em wake up, get away from the weed and try to like, grow some real lyrics, so people like me don't grow up and wonder why we got so screwed up with no sense of direction without our IPod's or diamond-studded cellphones, or just wind up caring about where the mall is so we can get our lady lumps tanned, yo.

I know it's a BIG job, but Music God, I have to have faith and I think we really, really could use your help here too!! I'm still young so I don't wanna get brain rot like, before I can drive?? I know there's a lot of dumb peeps out there who just don't care, coz well, they don't have to now that they're rich...

'K. I got homework to do now. Later!
Aurora"

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Online LABYRINTH

"(we) sometimes have difficulty quieting the chatter in our minds long enough to hear what our soul is trying to tell us. Meditation is the art of listening to your heart and learning to be present... Sometimes unconsciously, we withdraw from the present and live in the past or the future."

click on link to follow the labyrinth

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

a "sensible" work week?

These days it's hard to get together with friends. During the week it's pretty much out of the question, no matter how well-intentioned the plans may have been. Usually they call back, feeling guilty because they are just plain too tired. Ah, yes. I've been there.

Some days I wonder if it is not totally implausible to alter the way we "productive", time-oriented westerners approach the work week. Some South American countries have a siesta mid-afternoon, sensible, since our bodies are naturally attuned to rest at this physical low-point of the day. Europeans in some lucky countries take as long as SIX WEEK holidays (nice!) or employ shorter work weeks(they also watch less tv, eat less crap, but that's another rant!).

Zooming back to N.A...in most cases, people that I know (and know of) go through the rut, er...routine of the 40 hr. week and at the end if it, are absolutely spent, physically, emotionally and mentally with very little feeling of personal "satisfaction". Why have we all been set up this way? Obviously the underlying reasons are more related to profitability and lessening of calculation and organizational effort (read: time).

The roots probably stem earlier than last century's "Taylorism", which put the grand idea that it might be a nifty time-saver to actually calculate and time the mechanics and precise movements of the (factory) labor worker while doing a task. Obviously, today there are too many human rights implications that this exact measuring, timing and thus, dehumanization of human beings gets into, yet some socioeconomically poorer countries are still employing these methods in an effort to "copy" the supposed economically "matured" capitalist systems. These nations are unfortunately still largely the pawns that were used in early colonialism and the victims of a power-over dynamic residue. Surely our "poverty" is still relative to their REAL life-and-death type poverty and the ever-increasing exploitation of their human and natural resources. Yes, poverty and exploitation does also exist in our backyard, I certainly won't negate that.

That is where my beef is at: the rest of us working Joes and Josephines who are employed by "North America Inc.", a rich and "privileged" continent by the world's standards, are still subject to being caught in the petty web of exploitation.
Somebody else made the rules and we (seemingly) have no choice but to play along and make our way, sure. But what disturbs me is "Why is our (collective) mentality still so tunnel-visioned and driven by our economic and capitalist systems that we cannot yet mature enough to see the err and shortcomings of not valuing the HUMAN worker (along with, of course the environment)?" (don't we gain any insight from past follies leading to wars, strife and revolution?) It almost feels like there is too much at stake for the powers-that-be to grant true value to the worker. Perhaps "Give 'em an inch, and they'll take a ruler" might be a silent fear? We get so caught up in fear we will lose our job, our standing, our favour with the boss, etc. that we start to believe the "screen". We act like they are doing us a favour by granting us a heavily loaded, fully stocked-up 40+ hour work week with no benefits (benefits, if we're *real lucky*). We thank our lucky stars that they are employing our sorry arses, but really, we've got it all wrong: we are doing THEM the favour!

Pushing people to the hilt to save a nickel is pathetic. In North America (esp. "Dubya's" US of A) we have the resources to obliterate exploitation altogether! Corporations would NOT be left crying. The politicians wouldn't have to scrimp on groceries either. (Capital could very diverted toward the social wage and away for the military efforts, for example). We could be, and should be setting an example of higher way to structure things, of a better, healthier life sustenance. This could be the real moment to shine and prove ourselves worthy of 'praise' as a great powerful nation, live up to the rep, beyond just buying our way in.

It's frustrating to see very little "advancement" (ie. change) beyond the ever-present dog-eat-dog system, and as part of this, the incredible demands placed upon the average person.

We have to become a two-income household to provide for our children, or to manage to scrape by off a teeny pension as a senior or a disabled person, or to survive hand to mouth, deeming ourselves "middle class", when we are really the "well-dressed poor" an ever-expanding large underclass. We are faced with so many OTHER responsibilities and a constant stream of stimulus at once attacking and demanding of our senses, on a moment by moment basis (ie. think of crossing the lights at a crowded intersection, with cars honking while confirming an appointment by cell phone). In this millenia, we, on average deal with three-fold more stimuli, distractions and demands on our energies than our grand-parents' generation.

We have to work to survive, granted, but not only that, we HAVE to work our asses off to survive. We have to work hard enough so that our bodies and minds are so spent, that we can barely remember why we were putting in these hours and energy in the FIRST PLACE! Does this seem logical?? Is this really just "human nature"?? Not to me, I'm not yet "sold" on that one (figuratively nor literally).

From the "elite" owners' perspective (for you Sociologist-minded) getting the most juice out of your people equals gain, but for the rest of us "worker bees", more often than not, there is little to be gained personally and much to be lost in terms of physical ailments, stress-related illness, and loss of quality of life.

When I myself was working steadily at a "low on the totem pole", yet centralized admin-graphics-do-it-all-and-smile-too job, all I started to want was that I would find a way to balance my life out and come out with strength and mental energy at the end of the day to delve more into the things I really cared about (volunteering, connecting with friends, reclaiming my social life, learning to date, working out, etc). I was lucky if I managed to muster enough snuff to go work out twice a week and make a few strategically-timed calls (between dinner and burn-out) out to the world.

I finally manifested my wish. One day, my boss (very nice man, all in all) talked to me about the struggling finances of the company. He asked me if I would mind that he had to shorten my hours per day. I bettered that one and offered to CUT OUT one full work day instead. He (gratefully) accepted. I had a bigger plan.

I found immeasurable quality earned by this one 'extra' day. In fact, I had time to think rather than 'react' into my automatic routines, to rest mentally, to read more, to go for walks, to assist my family. I even had the "luxury" of time, to really reflect on my life. I reflected so well in fact, that I decided to go back to school. I wanted to figure out how this wheel turned and where I was placed among the "cogs".

The next job I take, I will put my foot down on the issue of time and energy extracted at my expense. Let it be a slight "loss" monetarily to me and let others slightly smirk, and let it be a gain to my new (open-minded) boss who will save a nickel, but I will want to discuss the implementation of a 4 day work week or a job-sharing program. I intend to gain as much balance and peace out of my life. It starts with the decision to claim it back for my self, on my terms. Somebody out there, is gonna want to hire me. And betcha they'll be "my kind of peeps" too.

Here's to a 4 Day Work Week and "taking in" your space!

"POP! Goes the Bone-mass"

"Cola is fun, cola is fizzy. Stop drinking the pop til it makes you dizzy!..." This may be "old news" to us, but still bears repeating. (See full article at link.)

"Animal studies...phosphorus, a common ingredient in soda...deplete bones of calcium."

"Diabetes...devastating and debilitating disease...eliminating soda from your diet is one of the easiest preventative measures you could take..."

"Soda...zero nutritional value...loaded with addictive sugars.
A study...those who drink soda...have a higher risk of developing esophageal (throat) cancer (ACE). The study showed a strong link between the accelerated rate of people drinking...soft drinks and the growing number of cases of esophageal cancer."

Don't get seduced by the company's "sexy" ad campaigns. quote: “In the search of wealth, we destroy our health”.