"Dear Music God:
I'm twelve years old and I like music, especially hip-hop and pop. I look up to musicians coz they look good and the music makes me wanna dance...but you know what, I don't git it?? Lately I've been hearing really, really stoopid stuff that get really, really popular and goes to the top of the illegal downloading lists and stuff, but the lyrics to these songs...um, they, they make my ears like bleed a little?
Um, like that "Beep" song from the Pussycat Dolls (these chicks who used to gyrate their bootieses at burlesque girlie music shows and now are like, doing videos. The thing that is WACK is the words to the songs are, like, purdy stoopid,! Dude, check this: "you got nice brains but I'm lookin' at yo "beep*, No, I don't mind that you lookin' at my *beep*, I know you're looking at my *beep*. I don't mind that you're looking at my *beep*"...and so on. Like, I GET it, *beep* is a swear word or it's sex. Ok!! It was cute the first twenty times they said it...
Another one, wuz that SUUUPPER popular "My Humps" song by The Black Eyes Peas. I mostly like their stuff, even tho they rip off other old fogie artists' riffs to make their song sound way cooler, but whatev! Anyway, that song about ladies' "bumps" was pro'bly reeeal easy to write. Like I could have written better...WHILE TAKING A MATH TEST..CHEWING GUM, AND WITH MY HANDS TIED BEHIND MY BACK, I bet. It's really nuthin' to get super hot over or even..to really listen to, you know?? I think I know all the lyrics already. Ok, um: "My humps, my humps, my lovely lady humps."
and then "my lumps, my lumps, my lovely lady lumps"...ya get the picture, right. This dirty lady named Peaches did her own funny take on this called "My Dumps" (but my mom won't let me cruise her website. Whatev!)
Anyway, I may not know much stuff being twelve and all, but I know music is suppposed to like, HAVE MUSIC IN IT and the words are suppposed to be compliminting..or complatementing...cumplement--well, GO TOGETHER with the music in a musical way ! Thing is: lyrics and stuff I hear is CR-AY_ZZ-EE!!
Anyway Music God, if you have TIME make it stop, ok?? Or maybe make people that are out there rakin in the 'greens' and flashing their "grills" and their *bling* and twenty badd cars, with their group of "hoes", in their pimped-out wheels , whatever--make 'em wake up, get away from the weed and try to like, grow some real lyrics, so people like me don't grow up and wonder why we got so screwed up with no sense of direction without our IPod's or diamond-studded cellphones, or just wind up caring about where the mall is so we can get our lady lumps tanned, yo.
I know it's a BIG job, but Music God, I have to have faith and I think we really, really could use your help here too!! I'm still young so I don't wanna get brain rot like, before I can drive?? I know there's a lot of dumb peeps out there who just don't care, coz well, they don't have to now that they're rich...
'K. I got homework to do now. Later!
Aurora"
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