in no particular order:
8) when people who are grumpy and indifferent or plain nasty to you and your very essence suddenly become Mother Teresa and rally to your couchside the minute you feign having a cold or other malaise. What gives? How come they turn suddenly kind and so concerned for your welfare all of a sudden?? weird and inconsistent behaviour. Worse yet, is anticipating that the minute you feel 'yourself again', god help you! The twiddle-dees are going to be right back at it, gnashing their sharp little teeth around your face and snarling "why isn't that [whatever] ready yet??". Ahh, just like Old Times.
4) when an Audiobook Application on iPhone uses a damn robotic voice akin to Cher's irritating vocals in that overrated and shitty song "Believe in Love after Luff.." (or Life after Love?? or Love after Life?? or whatever the fuck it was). Less Big Brother-y and creepy than the automated bus robot voice, complete with weird monotone with incorrect inflections that 'reads' out what your next stop will be. It is irksome. It is disconcerting. It makes me want to close the book on my Audio (non) book! Completely unintelligible and annoying as shite! "What? What is it saying?? What? Whaaat!" OY fuckity Oy.
51) telemarketers who - assuming my Spanish surname is inevitably, and invariably connected to a god-fearing Catholic Spanish-Canadian citizen - call up during bad reality tv, interrupting certain bliss to ask questions that are blatantly churchy in aim. "Listen, Maria Rodrigues, Golanzes, Dolores, del Pies. I was sidled with 4 names too, but don't assume I'm a traditional fresh-off-the-boat Bible-clutcher! I'm also part French & Irish and you don't see their reps giving me unsolicited calls to inquire about my politico-spiritual leanings, do ya? Well, here's my Irish part (said with accent, for effect), Feck off!"
Don't they know Brett Micheals' "Rock of Love" is on?!" Come ON! Is nothing Sacred?
