Interestingly, have been drawn to and rented movies to do with single women getting pregnant ("Waitress", "Knocked Up"), then invited out to see a movie similarly-themed ("Juno" re: a pregnant teen), then reading books featuring out-of-wedlock and hush-hush births ("Fall on Your Knees", great book). Lately, I even received a lovely feminist mag from a friend and the first article I cracked it open to was (surprise!) to do with single women and pregnancy. The zine's theme itself is "Singularity and Plurality," interesting and quite apropos to a time of baby obsession (or perhaps distraction, post "9/11" and during an ongoing 'war' on terror among other ugly things...). There is an almost imperceptible 'vibe' out there somehow rooting us on to repopulate and rebuild the nation, and it has baby-bib pink all over it! Or is it just me? Again. sigh. I suppose too that is could all merely be a grand Coincidence. I also feel (my intuitive part argues) that is could also be a case of significators being laid out for me like a nice little map of ideas. I guess I can see it both ways (I'm lucky that way :) Maybe I'm paying attention but not for the obvious reasons implied...
Sometimes, I feel inundated with romanticized images of babies and baby-making (regardless of, and separate from the notion of 'family' I note) where everyone is smiling giddily at babies and baby, baby, baby things, and pink and tiny cool clothes and Hollywood stars with 'bellies' and trainwreck pop-stars and their many mishaps and oops! baby on the way - all is forgiven, instant public redemption (!), and the media's almost obnoxious obsession and vigilant focus on its 'baby watch'! WHAT UP?? Also, does anybody consider the post-romance buzz-kill that is when the lidl babybaby grows UP? Yes, from that to toddler, then kid, then sullen teenager! Hello?? Babies don't stay cute forever (whatever yer mom tells ya)! Babies don't stay *babies* forever. Don't see too many cute headlines about pesky ten-year-olds driving their mom 'round the bend, do we? Just saying... Should I see so much of babies and feel that I am really, really missing the boat here? Are feelings of 'maybe I should think about this' a result of over-exposure to the baby farm (read: media hype) or is that my own tic tic (tic tac anyone?) biological clock starting to crack? sheesh. Can't a girl just kind of get there by herself without being constantly bonked on the head being blatantly reminded: "HEY,TOOTS, YA AINT GETTIN ANY YOUNGER! HOW'S ABOUT GIVING SOME THOUGHT AND EFFORT TO SQUEEZING OUT PUPPIES SOON, EH? HELLOOO??"
I like babies, don't get me wrong. I would like to think (er...hope) that I still have a shot at my own trial in this field should it come to fruition (pun intended), not counting pesky details like a suitable 'donor' appearing, my own life situation and $ stability being non-existent at this juncture. hee. But all this fuss over babies is starting to make me paranoid and kinda grumpy...like I'm channeling some weird "pregnancy-sympathy" symptoms?? I jest. Yes, I am at that 'ripe' age, been off the vine for bit now and just before souring, which, it could be argued makes me biologically a candidate to feel these 'funny feelings' (but not that everyone does). Yet, rather than joy and anticipation, I feel enormous pressure to catch up to (what appears to be, and what is being 'sold' as) the 'majority' of my peers fertile, straight women in their 20's, 30's and even early 40's. It makes me wonder, 'Are my eggs going to go bad by the time I get there? Should I be tryin' harder?? Will I feel totally shitty if I miss my 'window' (with pink lace curtain finishings)?All I see is skinny, yet big-bellied women and their trials and tribulations and excitations at the bundle of joy to soon grace their lives. But my eyes are starting to roll back in my head...ok, ok enough already! What's with the 'sudden' baby boom and the onslaught attack of the baby-themed films (esp. comedies) tv shows (ie. "Notes from the Underbelly" - are you serious??) and headlines that are prioritizing the building of a nation, the continuation of our species? Did we get paranoid about there not being enough of us already?? I'm no numerologist but I know there is enough peeps in the world (and most of them struggling).
Is there some covert "Western" underlying cultural message to all 'breeder' women who have not spawned yet to "get (their eggs) crackin'?" I sympathize and support the voice of breeder, but non-spawning women when they assert, "Heck, maybe I don't want to breed, maybe I feel fulfilled and happy as my life befits me, maybe I don't want to be a mother." Maybe not. The world is over-populated as it is. I say, You go, Sister! And to non-breeders (read: not straight) who DO want kids I say too, You go, Sister!
Yet for me, it has come to be that lately (as in, the last few years) I have had moments of tiny aches, I might even say 'yearnings' and the thought of being sidled (for life, literally) with an infant, then a teen does not completely repel me. Hmm...I even picture favourable things sometimes! Imagine that. So it falls for me to state resignedly (sp?) that I might be a breeder yet.
But I wish media (the mainstream type that unfortunately comes fast and cheap and that I feel inundated and invaded by) would ease up on the belly watch thing and find other hobbies! Find other ways to celebrate and revere women. Surely, there is more that we contribute than spawning good looking little tykes sporting cool mowhawk mini-me hair cuts! Let's find other reasons to celebrate what women do, what makes them compelling and interesting and stop making us fair maidens (like this single and somewhat harried author) paranoid that we will somehow falter or fall short of fulfilling our 'whole' potential as women if we don't personally donate to the baby farm.
Let's talk about something other than growing belly bumps, let's find a new fascination! Or better yet, let's get honest about what the real issues are (the not-so-cute-ones) and who we are or want to be. Why the hell not?? Let's try being original. And, while I'm at it: a shout out to the cool aunties (author included) who volunteer to show your kids a good time and take 'em off your hands for a while. (I see no articles on cute, single, incredibly hot, babyless aunties as of yet but I'm hopeful...)
I'll end with echoing the words of Sojourner Truth who, for her own reasons valiantly once asked, "Aint I A Woman?"
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