Sunday, October 28, 2007

Steven Wright jokes ('deadpan' delivery essential here)

"Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo... He got pretty good... He could go under a rug..."

Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.

I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can't tell...except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window...

Right now I'm having vu ja de--deja vu and amnesia at the same time.

Sometimes I...No, I don't.

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.

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